Journeys & Writings of Paul

Monday, January 23, 2012


I, being an introvert, have the tendency to ponder. I enjoy getting lost in thought and being introspective. As of late, I have desperately been searching for something to blog about in an effort to keep this thing rolling. I often think that I don't have anything extraordinary to share, and I don't really. Just normal things.

I think that it is reasonable to say that I am "normal", fairly ordinary. I do hesitate to use that word though, because I have trouble classifying people; they don't categorize well (this is a tangent that I will perhaps explore at a later date and time). Plus I think normal has connotations that don't exactly fit me, such as status quo and conforming. I'm too feisty for those words.

I marvel at the ability of others to express their thoughts so eloquently, to perform music, to write, to act, do athletics, etc. Don't get me wrong, I am not getting down on myself. I know that it is okay to appreciate things in others and that everyone can't be great at everything. I strive to be great in my own way, but more and more I feel that I am simply average. That's okay with me.

Allow me to try to express what I mean:

I have been told many times before that I am special, that I am destined for greatness, and perhaps I am. Or perhaps I am just here to live a normal life. To love God, to love others and to serve. For me, these things are sufficient. I love to learn. I hate it when I can't get something, like math. Math and Leanna don't mix. I really like to work hard. Maybe it is the perfectionist in me, but if I'm not giving all of me in what I'm doing, I would rather not even bother. I'm not exceptionally smart, but I put in whatever it takes to understand something to achieve at a high level. I'm not that great at relationships, but I genuinely love people. I am a paradox in so many ways. One of which is that I love people but am an introvert and being around people drains me. I'm rather simple, but also extremely complicated.

Those are some of the inner workings of one of my thought processes. They never come out quite how I'd like them too, but they're in pretty raw form. I am working on being candid and honest. This is a step toward that effort.

I came across this verse in Matthew several months ago think back on it often; it tends to pop into my head a lot. For whatever reason it resonates very strongly with me. It's the tail-end of a verse talking about Jesus and John the Baptist (which also appears in Luke 7:34-35):

For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, 'He has a demon.' The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.' But wisdom is proved right by her actions."
- Matthew 11:18-19

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Happy new year: 2012

Christmas is over, winter break is over, and now it's back into the routine of a new year. That means that an update is well overdue.

Break was wonderful. I was able to work at my previous place of employment, Goin' Postal, on Shawnee Road. That was such a blessing. It was nice to have structure to my day, see the old regular customers, and of course earn a bit of cash. I went dress shopping with the bridesmaids in Haley's bridal party and we selected our dresses. I was also privileged to accompany Haley when she tried on wedding dresses. She is going to make such a beautiful bride! I will confess that I did tear up when she put on "the one".

Christmas with my family was exceptionally nice this year. I was very grateful to be able to spend it with loved ones. Below is a picture on Christmas morning with my brothers.

Me, The Little One, Boyyy, Big Brothee
Other than work and family, I filled my time with running, for which the weather was perfect, visiting with friends, baking with The Little One, helping a friend move, cooking, reading, sitting with my cat, playing the Sims 3, etc. I had the perfect balance of productivity, doing things I enjoy, and vegging out.

Someone's artistic shot of our main Christmas tree this year.

Today marks the first day of embarking on a new endeavor: being intentional about the Sabbath. I completed all my homework by Saturday night so that I was able to focus on having time to rejuvenate myself as well as reflect on God on the Sabbath. I hope to be able to uphold this trend as I get into the thick of my courses this semester.