Ups and downs

This year has been one giant roller coaster of emotions for me. At the end of 2012 I had high hopes for all that 2013 would bring. I was confident that prosperity was on the other side of December 31st. My hopes were quickly squashed as I realized that life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Duh. I have cried this year more than I have ever cried. Tears as a result of sadness, anger, depression, doubt, fear, unmet expectations, loneliness, hopelessness, and a few tears of joy as well.

Despite seemingly unending tears met with feelings of hopelessness, loneliness, destitution, and abandonment, that is not to say that 2013 has not been a good year.

The definition of "good" is dependent upon the perspective behind it all. I think for me it is perhaps too strong to say that everything happens for a reason. However I am comfortable saying with great confidence that God uses every experience in our lives to teach us if we are willing to learn.

To be certain, when I look back on the past twenty-five and a half years of my life, the hardships have been the things that have shaped me the most. The roughest stages of my life are the ones I look back on with fondness and gratitude. It is in those stages that I learn to cling to and rely on God. It is in those moments that I allow myself to be open in vulnerable ways with those around me that I am normally not comfortable doing. It is important to be able to take down our façades and allow what is real behind them to show. It isn't always pretty, but it is genuine.

These are the things I've experienced in brokenness that I am thankful for: They mark formative years, thickened skin, an ever-growing empathy, humility, dependence on God, strength, confidence, poise.

I give praise and thanks to God who is my constant support, ever present in time of need, and the epitome of patience. Here goes a big shout out to God: thanks for not giving up on me!!

I want to take this moment to say a big thank you to all my supporters in life!
You encourage and uplift me with your prayers, kind words and actions.