Out with the old, in with the new

As the year winds down and the new year approaches, people start making resolutions of change. That is all well and good, but I have come to realize that the motives behind the desired change are just as important, if not more so, than the actual results.

I came to this realization as I was continually finding things about myself that I wanted to change. I found myself questioning God (in a highly unorthodox and irreverent manner might I add) why and naming off all the reasons why it would be better if he could simply "fix" all the things I see wrong. I felt a response from deep within saying, "If you accepted yourself like I accept you, then you wouldn't feel the need to change." Huh. Way to be profound and humble me in a split second, God.

So this year I am resolving to continue walking out my faith, working out my salvation, and trying to carry out one of the greatest commandments to its fullest, summed up this way:

1) Love God
2) Love others
3) Love self

What i love about peru

There are many things that I grew to appreciate about Peru after living there for three months. For now I'll share one:

Meals

After each meal, those at the table say thank you to those they have enjoyed the meal and company with. I think that's such a neat practice. I know for me in my home growing up everyone ate their meals and then were off to the next activity. Additionally, each person serves themselves here in the United States. In Peru, those who prepare the meal serve up each plate and place them in front of the individual. When you are finishing up, you are asked if you want seconds, and if so, those are served to you as well (but trust me, you're given enough the first time and never need to ask for more). No one is expected to make their own plate. Every meal is an offering to those eating, if you will. There is additional generosity behind the food, behind the massive quantities given (especially to guests); the sharing that takes place. Meals are enjoyed, company is enjoyed, and these important rituals, more often than not known to us as humdrum in the states, in Peru seldom take less than two hours.

Food is such an interesting gateway into culture. More than the actual sustenance, but the customs that go along with it all. 

Ceviche & chica morada. My host dad in Lima is a chef! His food was delicious.

It is more blessed to give than to receive

One of my favorite things to do is learn.

My favorite thing about knowledge is that it is so expansive so that even after you think you have learned something, you still can relearn it on a deeper level.

In Peru I learned many things. I learned about a different culture, climates, history, language, transportation system, foods. The greatest lesson I (re)learned is this one recorded in Acts 20:35 where Paul quotes Jesus saying:

"It is more blessed to give than to receive."

Another way to say this is I learned humility.

The thing about learning lessons in humility is that often times the most poignant lessons in are the direct result of being humiliated.

This was the case for me as my pride was exposed and then stripped away.

This variety of pride happens to be the ugliest, for it is not the upfront, boasting, in-your-face pride, but rather is the deeply buried, quiet, inward selfishness that often goes unnoticed. Pride that is not intentional and cutting, but that is subtle and natural, coming out in sly disguises and sometimes even with good intentions laced throughout it.

I am still internally processing the various lessons I encountered in all forms in the past three months. I may elaborate on them once I feel that I have the language to connect with these lessons that have been burned in my heart.

How to survive in peru

Here are ten tips that I have collected from my lived experience about how to survive in Peru:

1. Have toilet paper on your person at ALL times
2. Rid yourself of personal space issues while using public transportation
3. Refuse as much food as you can politely (because you are served so much!)
4. Look around you in EVERY direction before crossing the street (even on one way streets)
5. Use earplugs for sleeping
6. Use earplugs for studying
7. Talk with Peruvians whenever possible
8. Do a celebratory dance when you see the sun (in Lima)
9. Bring warm clothing, lots of it
10. Comfortable walking shoes are a must

Those are all the tips that I can think of at the present moment. I´m enjoying my time in Peru very much so far. I am learning and experiencing much. Lima is a bustling, diverse, huge city that is experiencing much development and is full of beautiful people.

Peace

There are two things that I am certain of: uncertainty in life and the faithfulness of God.

I could write volumes about how God has guided me, been at work in my life, how I've changed, what I've learned, how I've grown and developed as an individual, etc. Instead I'll share with you some of the pieces that have helped me along in my journey:

Lamentations 3:19-24

"I remember my affliction and my wandering,
    the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them,
    and my soul is downcast within me.

Yet this I call to mind
    and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness. 

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
    therefore I will wait for him."

2 Timothoy 2:11-13

"Here is a trustworthy saying:

If we died with him,
    we will also live with him;
if we endure,
    we will also reign with him.
If we disown him,
    he will also disown us;
if we are faithless,
    he remains faithful,
    for he cannot disown himself."

Psalm 121:1-2

"I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth."

Generosity

My life has been marked by the generosity of others.

I recognize that everything that I have been entrusted with thus far in my life I could have never have achieved without the love, support, and generous giving from an amazing base of supporters who have believed in my over the years.

I acknowledge this and yet still I put my hope not in government, not in family, not in friends, not in money, wealth, resources, but in the Lord. I say in my heart as the psalmist wrote, 

"I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, maker of heaven and earth." -Psalm 121:1-2

Thinking about all the opportunities I have been afforded and how I have been a recipient many gracious gifts over the years, my heart overflows with gratitude. I only hope that I am able to be a blessing to others in the same way that I have been so amply blessed.

This verse has been the one running through my brain like a broken record as this gratitude has been deeply resonating with me:

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for one another. If any one of you has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in you? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth." -1 John 3:16-18

My friends joke about me having only one facial expression: a huge smile. Whether I'm happy, excited, sad, mad, injured, what you'll likely see is a smile. I smile when I frown, when I cry, even when I'm seriously injured (see photo below); I have come to realize that this can be a huge source of confusion. Though admittedly I sometimes use my smile to mask my sadness, fear, anxiety, or anger, I would say 96% of the time my facial expression is a true reflection of what my heart is feeling, even if the circumstance and my face don't match according to what it "should be". What my heart feels is joy from God, whose generosity I am most deeply grateful for above all else!

Photo credit: Anna? I smiled the entire night that I busted my head open, though I was in some serious pain and extremely sick.

The kingdom of heaven is like

I woke up with the parable of the pearl of great value in my mind one day last week. I got up and read the passage, which got me thinking. This blog post is a product of my pensive mood as I have been chewing on this. It's still raw, so be gentle with me.

The kingdom of heaven. Or as Jo-Ann Brant would be proud of me perhaps to have learned from her class, the reign of heaven/reign of God.

The kingdom of heaven is like…

There is such depth to Scripture. So the kingdom of heaven could mean: the literal place of heaven, the kingdom of God on earth, the presence of God, the value of a relationship with God, or perhaps elements of salvation, justification, sanctification, mercy, grace; or all these things wrapped up in one? Yes. And I don’t know. This is what Jesus says in a parable:

“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.”

-Matthew 13:44-46

The kingdom of heaven appears to you, comes upon you. When you find it and realize that there is nothing else like it, nothing else worthy of investing in, then you will sell all of your possessions literal and figurative so that you may obtain it.

The kingdom of heaven is sought out. There is nothing in this life worth living for. Not wealth, not fame, nothing. When you discover that heaven is the only thing of value in life, it is the treasure that you have always been looking for, you will be compelled to sell everything to have it.

Ironically, for the greatest and most valuable gift available, there are not enough resources that you could ever obtain to trade in for it. Thanks be to God for his son Jesus, the savior of the world, standing in the place as the pure payment so that I may receive the greatest gift without cost.

This makes me think of the following first few verses in Isaiah 55: “Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come buy wine and milk without money and without cost.”

And finally from Matthew 6:21, “for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

I have been thinking a lot lately about where my heart is and what motives lie within; my mind is swirling with thoughts, my own mingled with memorized snipits of Scripture.