Normal

I, being an introvert, have the tendency to ponder. I enjoy getting lost in thought and being introspective. As of late, I have desperately been searching for something to blog about in an effort to keep this thing rolling. I often think that I don't have anything extraordinary to share, and I don't really. Just normal things.

I think that it is reasonable to say that I am "normal", fairly ordinary. I do hesitate to use that word though, because I have trouble classifying people; they don't categorize well (this is a tangent that I will perhaps explore at a later date and time). Plus I think normal has connotations that don't exactly fit me, such as status quo and conforming. I'm too feisty for those words.

I marvel at the ability of others to express their thoughts so eloquently, to perform music, to write, to act, do athletics, etc. Don't get me wrong, I am not getting down on myself. I know that it is okay to appreciate things in others and that everyone can't be great at everything. I strive to be great in my own way, but more and more I feel that I am simply average. That's okay with me.

Allow me to try to express what I mean:

I have been told many times before that I am special, that I am destined for greatness, and perhaps I am. Or perhaps I am just here to live a normal life. To love God, to love others and to serve. For me, these things are sufficient. I love to learn. I hate it when I can't get something, like math. Math and Leanna don't mix. I really like to work hard. Maybe it is the perfectionist in me, but if I'm not giving all of me in what I'm doing, I would rather not even bother. I'm not exceptionally smart, but I put in whatever it takes to understand something to achieve at a high level. I'm not that great at relationships, but I genuinely love people. I am a paradox in so many ways. One of which is that I love people but am an introvert and being around people drains me. I'm rather simple, but also extremely complicated.

Those are some of the inner workings of one of my thought processes. They never come out quite how I'd like them too, but they're in pretty raw form. I am working on being candid and honest. This is a step toward that effort.

I came across this verse in Matthew several months ago think back on it often; it tends to pop into my head a lot. For whatever reason it resonates very strongly with me. It's the tail-end of a verse talking about Jesus and John the Baptist (which also appears in Luke 7:34-35):

For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, 'He has a demon.' The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.' But wisdom is proved right by her actions."

- Matthew 11:18-19

Happy new year: 2012

Christmas is over, winter break is over, and now it's back into the routine of a new year. That means that an update is well overdue.

Break was wonderful. I was able to work at my previous place of employment, Goin' Postal, on Shawnee Road. That was such a blessing. It was nice to have structure to my day, see the old regular customers, and of course earn a bit of cash. I went dress shopping with the bridesmaids in Haley's bridal party and we selected our dresses. I was also privileged to accompany Haley when she tried on wedding dresses. She is going to make such a beautiful bride! I will confess that I did tear up when she put on "the one".

Christmas with my family was exceptionally nice this year. I was very grateful to be able to spend it with loved ones. Below is a picture on Christmas morning with my brothers.

Me, The Little One, Boyyy, Big Brothee

 

Other than work and family, I filled my time with running, for which the weather was perfect, visiting with friends, baking with The Little One, helping a friend move, cooking, reading, sitting with my cat, playing the Sims 3, etc. I had the perfect balance of productivity, doing things I enjoy, and vegging out.

Someone's artistic shot of our main Christmas tree this year.

Today marks the first day of embarking on a new endeavor: being intentional about the Sabbath. I completed all my homework by Saturday night so that I was able to focus on having time to rejuvenate myself as well as reflect on God on the Sabbath. I hope to be able to uphold this trend as I get into the thick of my courses this semester.

Blessed and broken

I don't know about you, but I definitely go through certain periods of my life where I just feel so incredibly blessed. And it's not necessarily just during the best of times either. I don't really have much to complain about, I live quite comfortably, but everyone has their share of rough patches in life; big or small, rough is rough! Life doesn't have to be a peeing contest where we try to settle who has it worse off. Let's just love each other through the messiness.

The thing that I love about those rough patches is that God is so present there. I have come to realize through prayer, Scripture, and just living and interacting with others some deep issues that are inhibiting my growth as an individual. Working through these inhibitors has been painful, enlightening, freeing, and not without a fair share of tears.

The Lord is so patient with me and I thank him often for not giving up on his work in progress.

I have been especially blessed by Scripture lately. It seems that no matter what page I open to in my Bible lately I have just been so blessed by the words and they target my heart in just the right way. God is so wonderful in that way.

This goes for prayer as well. I don't really know what it is, but certain times more than others it just feels like I am known, heard, understood, and that my prayers will be answered. Even at those times when I have a lack for words, I feel like my heart is connecting with the heart of God. Lately my prayers have devolved to, "Lord help me." And he does. Daily.

There are an overwhelming number of verses that deal with the Lord hearing cries for mercy and answering them.

                Psalm 116:1-6

I love the LORD, for he heard my voice;
  he heard my cry for mercy.
Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.

The cords of death entangled me,
  the anguish of the grave came over me;

I was overcome by distress and sorrow.

Then I called on the name of the LORD:
   “LORD, save me!”

The LORD is gracious and righteous;
  our God is full of compassion.
 

The LORD protects the unwary;
  when I was brought low, he saved me.

Return to your rest, my soul,
  for the LORD has been good to you.

Give [thanks]

What are you thankful for?

I think about this question often, but on this particular holiday of Thanksgiving Day we are especially encouraged to reflect on those things that we are thankful for. I am not going to write out a detailed list, as I have much to be thankful for and it would be a long list. I will however reflect on what I have learned in the past several years about giving, gratitude and the like.

One of the most profound things that I have learned in the past five or so years is that you should give from what you have. This may not seem profound, but it totally changed my perspective on giving. On a particular day I felt bad that I could only make a certain contribution and thought to myself, "If only I had more money, then I could really give something that would make a difference. I'll aspire to make a lot of money in the future so that I have a lot to give away." Upon having this thought I was immediately convicted about my motive of giving and why it had to be a larger sum to really matter.

From that point on I told God that I would always give from what I have, no matter if it is big or small. It's a silly notion to wait to give a "meaningful" contribution until you can give a certain (and might I add arbitrary) monetary amount. Remember the story of the widow's offering in the gospels of Mark and Luke? Jesus tells his disciples that she has put more into the treasury in the kingdom of heaven with her two coins than the many rich people present who threw in large sums of money.

On the subject of giving, I ran for my second consecutive year in the Run for the Turkeys 5K race this morning! I really like this race because it raises money and canned food donations for a good cause, stocking the West Ohio Food Bank to feed hungry families right here in our own neighborhoods.

Here is the food I gathered for my contribution to the food bank.

 

Pre-race photos with Rachel and Chris. We were the barefoot running gang! It was quite a chilly morning for VibramFiveFingers!

And we're off and running!

 

 Eric was my photographer today and captured this amazing shot of me right as I was crossing the finish line! (Thank you The Little One!)

 

I was pleased with my time of 27:22 minutes! That's a three minutes faster than last year's 30:11, and only about 30 seconds over my average 5K time. I have been running technology free since coming back from my knee injury this summer because I knew I would either: 

 

a) become discouraged at how slow I have become due to my time off

 

b) push myself too hard, too fast

 

c) both of the above

 

So I really had no idea how fast or slow I would run today. Not my fastest, but I'll take it! I'm excited to continue training through the winter to get ready for some races coming this Spring as my knee slowly but surely continues to get better.

 

Traditional post-race picture with Anna

 

 

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I encourage you to give. Give thanks. Give of yourselves. Give in times of plenty. Give in times of need. Simply give! And always give thanks. I leave you now with these words from the book of Colossians:
 

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

Colossians 3:15-17

The best job ever

Some of you may already know that I am a Resident Assistant (RA) this fall at Goshen College. It has proved to be one of the best decisions of my life! To say that I love my job is an understatement. This is the most enjoyable paid position that I have held thus far in my short career.
 
I mused over whether or not I should be an RA for quite some time. Those of you who know me well will know that I don't enter into commitments willy nilly, and this was no exception. I spent many weeks in prayer over this decision last year. In all honesty, I didn't want the position, but felt that God was putting it on my heart to prayerfully consider. I interviewed for the job and told the Lord that if I was accepted that I would carry it out to the fullest of my capabilities, and if not, then someone else was better suited for the job and that was OK too.
 
Even after I had been interviewed and informed that I had been accepted for the position, I had second guesses. All throughout the summer I was praying for the girls that I didn't even know yet who would be living on my hall, for my boss and co-workers, for wisdom, grace and guidance for myself, and for our GC community.
 
I did a bit of fretting over the idea of this job, especially toward the end of the summer as the school year approached. Among my thoughts were (some are maybe too honest for a blog): Am I really cut out for this job? Do I have what it takes to fulfill this role? I am an introvert and am worried that I will get burnt out. I am almost 24, do I really want to live with freshmen? Will I be able still stay connected to my friends from last year? Will I be able to devote the proper amount of time toward my studies and my girls? Will the girls on my hall like me and will we be able to relate to one another?

 
I am pleased to say that at the 1/3 mark in the year I am so glad that I made this decision! I have a genuine love for all the girls on my hall. I am privileged to share this space with them and contribute to their lives in one capacity or another. I feel so in my element. God really knows what he is doing, and has calmed all of those fears and insecurities I had coming into this job.
 
There are many other great things that I could share, but perhaps in another post. I leave you with the admonition to trust the leanings that you get from the Lord and believe in the strengths you have been given. God loves to use his willing servants to make himself known.


 

Yoder Hall Staff 2011-12

Joy in simple things

There are some that say I am easily amused. This is true. I was contemplating the things that bring me great joy. They are often times not externally very profound, though sometimes they are.

Among the many simple things that bring me joy, not in any order or by any means an exclusive list: sunshine, being barefoot, having my head rubbed, laughing with friends, laughing by myself, writing letters, receiving letters, the feeling of having just showered after getting really dirty, purring cats, flowers, gray rainy days, thunderstorms, deep conversations, running, drinking water, thinking, solitude, listening, baking, learning, people, manatees, books.

There is joy in simplicity.

Better is a four letter word

Well I just got back from my doctor's appointment to recheck my knee and I told him that I am better but not as better as I had hoped to be at this point.

He felt around and told me I have three options: 1) get a steroid shot in my knee 2) go back to therapy and have them apply a steroid cream to my knee 3) continue with my stretches and exercises. I told him that I really don't think it is serious enough pain to require steroids, so I told him I'd go easy on my mileage and continue with option number three. He thinks that's a good idea and he's sorry I'm not at 100%. So am I. But hey, it could be worse, he didn't tell me I had to stop running. :)

Basically what I have going are the classic symptoms of runner's knee. My tendon is snapping over the bone from overuse, and thus the repetitive motions of biking and running cause it to flair up. Continuing to strengthen the surrounding muscles (hamstrings, quads, glutes) will help with this. I have a good number of exercises up my sleeve from physical therapy, my Runner's World magazines and their website full of wonderful injury prevention solutions.

So you'll find me stretching out my ITB four times a day and exercising twice per day those surrounding muscle groups. I'll also be out hitting the trail or road, enjoying the miles that I'm allowed to run per week, soaking up every ounce of enjoyment from them!